Thursday, April 7, 2011

Let Thy Goodness...Bind My Wandering Heart

The life of Jacob seems to keep popping into my mind and then SS’s topic was on him as well. We all know the story of this individual's life. One who was conniving and deceptive not only to his brother but his own father. Can you imagine your father favoring your older brother and you being your mother's favorite? Then scratching your mind and wondering why in the world Jacob (meaning: deceiver) was ever chosen to depict you? Knowing that the older would serve the younger Isaac chose to love one more than the other. Rebecca knowing well that Jacob was the one God had chosen yet because of Isaac’s insistence tried to 'help' God bring about His will. What chaos! Having stolen Esau's birthright and then his blessing we find Jacob running for dear life. Where he spends a good 14 years reaping what he'd sown. After serving his uncle Laban for sometime he finally heads 'home' except this time he can be seen as a dog with his tail tucked between his legs in deep consternation. It has been years and he recognizes that whether he wants to or not he must needs face his elder brother. The very brother he tricked into buying his porridge and then purposefully consented to inherit his blessing. We don't find him excitedly anticipating the reunion of brethren, no, but with great reluctance he’s going in the direction the Lord has called him. He hasn't totally lost all hope for he recalls God's promise to him, 'I will surely do you good, and make your seed as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.' Just as He had provided the lamb for the offering so He'd supply the strength to encounter his own brother. I love how we are shown Jacob as human as ourselves. Did you notice the fear written all throughout this account? He cries out to the Lord to deliver him from his own brother and orders his companies, 'And say,...behold, your servant Jacob is behind us... I will appease him with the present that goes before me, and afterward I will see his face; peradventure he will accept me.' Do you notice how he, Jacob, is trying to appease things, trying oh so desperately to smooth things over with everything in his power? How many troubling thoughts he must of had. The very night before he should meet up with Esau he takes every effort to put any comfort away from him (having sent all this family across the brook) and made careful camps going ahead of him. Yet as he sits on the bank in desperation he seems to still come short somehow...Esau's coming with 400 men! Being the only one on the bank of the river he is involved in a wrestling match. This, I believe, is the climax of where God wanted him. You've tried, and tried, and TRIED Jacob, when will you give it to me? Isn't this just like us? We work so hard first trying this and then that. When all God wants is, for our hands to be held open. He was willing to give up his herds, flocks and even family. Yet the very last thing (himself) was still on 'Reserve'. I think it unique in that God didn't allow the angel to prevail over Jacob. Why so? He then touches his socket causing him to remain with a limp. You know if God were to give us what we wanted we'd soon forget His works. Jacob received a blessing but just as Paul became a great apostle yet had a thorn in his flesh so Jacob would have a limp as his reminder. The man then tells Jacob to let him go to which he responds with , 'I will not let you go, except you bless me.' Wow, do we ever continue in the battle long enough to ask God to bless us? Asking for the necks of our enemies? How deep is your devotion to God? How in love are you with Jesus? If you had the option to 'let him go' would you(if there was something else that was a bit more alluring)? I'm afraid more often than not when push comes to shove many times we end up giving into our flesh... but that's only if we were being transparent. My deepest cry is that He would not let me go even when I am at my weakest state. But rather keep striving after my heart. No, life without Christ would equal total havoc. May our hearts prayer then be, 'I will not let you go, except you bless me.' May we not be satisfied until the very whole of us defuses (better yet wreaks!) Jesus in our thought, speech, action and motive! He then is asked for his name to which he must have whispered with a hoarse voice, 'Jacob'...bringing back his hall of shame. He then tells him that his name is no longer Jacob but Israel. Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. Isn't it a blessed thought?! :) Wow. It's almost like a curse was lifted! He now could go on to meet Esau in the strength of the Lord. He saw the power of God and His mark of ownership would always remain with him reminding him of the bigger God who ever desires to bless yet adamant to have all of him. ‘Yes, it's gonna be a great day!’ he speaks to himself.

In summary I want to say that God still specializes in using people who are willing to be used by Him…no matter what your shortcomings and previous lifestyle. He is a bigger God than any one of us could ever imagine! Bring to remembrance John Newton and George Müller. Yes, they were great men but not without being known as the ‘angry sailor’ or the utterly rebellious young man yet God in His mercy used them in great ways…far above and beyond their dreams! Not until we stop running from God will He begin to mold us into His intended creation. It is, ‘Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not.’

O to grace how great a debtor

Daily I’m constrained to be!

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,

Bind my wandering heart to Thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,

Seal it for Thy courts above.

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