"You don't need to know why"

Through tears I recall the numerous accounts of my childhood days of over and over being told, "You don't need to know why." Referring to a certain way of following directions. Just tonight it hit me. As I look out my window I see a person in a wheelchair and wonder what their story is. Why is 'he' a cripple? What was the cause? Why should he suffer in such a way and not another? All these 'whys' going through my head send me for a spin. I hurt for those who hurt. I don't like to see people suffer as I don't like to have to go through suffering.

Then I ponder again, perhaps it's okay not to know why. It's okay that I don't understand the reason behind the many tears drenching the pillow at night, the small child which has to suffer while they haven't committed some evil crime worthy of such punishment. Or why loved ones should have so much health issues and each avenue pursued should only lead to a dead end.

It seemed my question was answered with, "You don't need to know why." To be honest, I don't like that answer. I want to know why. I want to understand the reason for such circumstances. I don't need to know everything...just this one...for now.

Is faith perhaps anything relatable to this picture? This triggers a passage to my recollection, John 21, "If I will that he remain till I come, what is that to you? You come and follow me." Perhaps my Heavenly Papa is like that. He wants my obedience; not grovel with the whys, wherefores, and 'must it be so'?

And so the true test is this, am I willing to resign to His bigger picture without further explanation? To rest in the thought that I may never comprehend the ins and outs of His doing? One consolation for sure is that He makes no mistakes. And I may trust Him fully without due reservation.

This is a song that I've been trying to learn to sing from my heart:  The Perfect Wisdom of Our God by Keith and Kristyn Getty:

Oh grant me wisdom from above, 

To pray for peace and cling to love, 

And teach me humbly to receive 

The sun and rain of Your sovereignty. 

Each strand of sorrow has a place 

Within this tapestry of grace; 

So through the trials I choose to say: 

“Your perfect will in your perfect way.”