I Am His And He Is Mine

Well, it's the eve of my birthday. 

<SIGH>

................................................................................................................................................

Not quite sure what to think of it. It's been one of those birthdays which I wasn't really looking forward to. Can't I just remain 23...okay, okay, maybe 27? And in the midst of this quandary, the question pushes to the front of my thoughts, ''What will you give Me?' I pause. 'What?' I inquire. 'What will you give Me?' He replies. That is not of myself and yet I appreciated the intriguing question for which a response seemed to be expected.

What would i give Him?

What am I going to purposefully and willingly offer Him?

When one gives do they enforce a return policy with it?

For One who's given His very life would I give a meager sacrifice and hope it suffices?

I've begun a habit of checking my barometer so to speak towards the closing of a year and right before the beginning of the next. Though somehow He seems to be prompting to make yet another investigation.

As inventory begins I realize that there hasn't been much given gladly out of a joyful heart let alone a heart which was forever grateful to it's Benefactor. It behooves me that I....I should express so little devotion to the Creator and Savior of my soul. 

'What will you give Me?' I still can hear His voice whisper in my ear. Not long into my investigation I notice I've 'given' an amount from time to time...only to take it back in return. He doesn't seem to be up for that trade today. It''s one of those now and forever.  

'But Lord, I do't understand what you want.' I've given. It's a battle and I know You've promised that Your grace is sufficient and I trust in each testing that You will come through. You are but a call away.

The more this question is pondered the more I realize that I've hardly given! How could a Believer say they have taken up their cross to follow Him yet fruit be so lacking? Ah Lord Jesus, how could I?!  How can I say that I am Yours but see so much of self still alive! You ask for the innermost parts of our hearts as we waver whether You're trustworthy enough to be entrusted with our fragile hearts. 

What is our cross? I'm not sure if perhaps it is our very own lives. Since we seem to have such a difficulty laying it down...dying to ourself. He asks for ALL that He may give out of the abundance of His heart. He promises not to give according to our hearts desires/dreams but He does promise life more abundantly. Blessings with no sorrow with it. Now to reach that...

The highest calling of Christ Jesus... You've heard no doubt of the saying, ask not another to do something which you yourself would not be willing to do. I see this very aspect in my Jesus. He who would humble Himself to enter His yet to be claimed realm full of sinfulness and every evil deed. That He would be willing to lay aside His kingly robes and take on the role of servanthood. That He should even wash our filthy feet! That He would suffer rejection and contempt. That some of His closest friends should betray and deny His very existence!  Then I think...HOW COULD I NOT OFFER MY ALL? He who has gone before (doing what He'd ask us to do) knows very well what we'd go through. What a comforting thought!

Thus I am left once again echoing in my ears, 'What will you give Me?' Will I for my King lay upon the alter my ALL? Perhaps for you your all is your innermost thought life, the way you spend your money, better yet how you choose to spend your free time. Your dreams or ambitious aspirations? Family? Or perhaps it's the pain and heartache inflicted. You know what it is.

The title of this post is, I Am His And He is Mine. It comes down to a choice. Would I be wholly His? Is the cost too great a price for me to pay? Will I only 'taste' of the goodness of the Lord refusing to delve into the depths of who Jesus is? Would I really 'see' Jesus? In my very own life? It requires a sacrifice...a sweet willing sacrifice. 

Ah Lord Jesus, here I am again. Running from the One my soul loves. Fearful to give what You ask. Fearful that should I give the return be not to my liking. But I am adamant to follow hard after You even though the path be through the valleys and the nights linger and the rains come to stay. Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none comparing to You. As You have given Your very life, so Lord, let me follow in Your footsteps out of devotion from my heart --- a small thank you for saving me! More than anything Jesus, let the flames come, the tempest surround, the hour of trial arrive... I am Yours. Lord Jesus, I offer myself afresh...refine me in Your fire till Your sweet image may be reflected!

It's going to be a great year! A year in which He won't disappoint. My passion is to see Jesus not only consuming my life but consuming the hearts of other men and women. There is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother...

What will you give Him?